Fact: Grief often feels heavier during the holiday season. And it is ok to lean into the emotions you are experiencing, whether it be anger, sadness, guilt or even joy. It is important to remember that joy and sadness can co-exist. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and your fifth holiday season without your loved one, can still feel like the first. Most loved holiday movies and songs may not feel the same or maybe the exact comfort you need during this holiday season. It is normal to feel “out of sorts” as others may be enjoying the holidays. The presence of family and friends can ease the inevitable loneliness of grief. As much as possible, surround yourself with people who genuinely love and support you, regardless of your state of mind or emotions. Be gentle with yourself. You don’t need to “perform” for anyone or make others believe you have everything together.
Good self-care is also essential. Ensuring adequate sleep and nutritious meals is critical as you grieve. Protect your peace and limit conversations if you need to. Be flexible and have a “plan B” to gracefully excuse yourself if necessary. When someone we love dies, memory seems more like a cruel attack rather than a gift. However, memory does not fade or die. It grows softer around the edges and, if allowed, memory can become our tie to the past and our bridge to the future. Give yourself time and patience and learn to cherish the memories. Don’t lose them in the fog of grief. Hold onto your memories tightly. And in sharing them the beginning of hope and healing is born. Love isn’t something that ends with death. It’s still here – just not in the package we expected. May you find the gifts of joy and remembrance that come with love given and received. Most importantly this holiday season, Give Yourself Grace.