Communication takes many forms and is vitally important for both patients and caregivers at the end of life. Being there for a seriously ill person can involve conversation, physical contact or just your reassuring presence. For some friends and family, however, this may be difficult because they feel uncomfortable or fear they will say or do the wrong thing.
Those who are seriously ill appreciate it when family members, friends and visitors are realistic about their condition, but still want to authentically engage with them in ways they are able. Always remember: your presence is the greatest gift!
People who are seriously ill often want to reflect on their lives—to talk about their greatest accomplishments and regrets, family history, military experience, jobs they’ve had or people they’ve known. Encouraging them to share this information can be an extremely meaningful experience that evokes feelings of inner peace, laughter or tears and, in some cases, the desire to reconcile with someone who used to be part of their lives.
When thinking about what you’d like to say, remember:
- Forgiveness is a huge gift, whether you are on the giving or receiving end. If there are unresolved conflicts, now is the time to let them go.
- Thank your loved one by mentioning the things that were especially important to you. You will be so glad you did.
- Express your love in whatever way is most comfortable for you. You may wish to mention what memories you will cherish most, why you will miss the person or what their presence in your life has meant.
- Don’t be afraid to cry. Tears are a healthy expression of your emotions, whether derived from sadness or joy.